It’s the PC. No, not that PC. I’m talking about the Paper Clip.

If you keep comparing apples to oranges – all you wind up with is a nifty fruit salad. It doesn’t prove anything.

Everyone is trying to find the next iPad killer: Microsoft Surface, any tablet running some variation of Android, Nook, Kindle Fire, RIM – wait, never mind about RIM. The point is, it’s an exercise in futility. Those comparisons are like – well, let me show you:

The ultimate iPad killer was born in 1867. It’s the Paper Clip.

The Paper Clip has a 145-year usage track record of which the iPad simply can’t compete. Further, it has never changed its basic operating system in all that time, and yet still performs just as well as it did in the beginning. In fact, it’s a household name.

Everyone uses the Paper Clip. The Paper Clip is in every household in America. And don’t even get me started about business applications, as every business in America also uses the Paper Clip. So does every school, public or university alike. You just can’t say the same thing about the iPad. The Paper Clip has a much larger installed user base. Literally everyone.

The Paper Clip never has to be recharged. Strike three against the iPad. You have to charge that thing at least every other day with general usage. In fact, you really should dim the screen a bit for best battery life. The paper clip doesn’t need to be dimmed. Or brightened, for that matter.

Speaking of brightness, the Paper Clip can be used in direct sunlight. Can you say that about the iPad? Of course not. You can’t use an iPad in direct sunlight. Score another win for the Paper Clip.

The Paper Clip works with any office system, and is fully compatible with paper printed from Microsoft Office applications. The iPad isn’t compatible with Microsoft. In fact it’s a closed system. You can’t install whatever the heck you feel like on it, whenever you want. But the paper clip can be used with any paper, any color, any bond. The Paper Clip is an open system, the iPad is not.

Many different companies are licensed to make the Paper Clip. The same can’t be said for the iPad. Only one manufacturer? No choice. Just one model shoved down people’s throats, take it or leave it, while there are nearly a limitless variations of the Paper Clip.

And, the best feature of all: The Paper Clip clips papers together. That’s one function that never crossed the minds of those “wonder-boys” in Cupertino. But you can bet they’ll try to copy it. They’ll have to, if they want to keep up.

Lastly, there’s the sales figures. With the Paper Clip in every home, business and school in America, and counting each Paper Clip in a box, the Paper Clip outsells the iPad by something like a bazllion to one. And, the Paper Clip is much cheaper than the iPad: You can get a box of 100 for something like a buck fifty – even less at Wal-Mart. Take THAT, iPad.

So let’s wrap it up: The Paper Clip is economical, stylish, functional, open source, used in every home, business and school on the planet, works with all paper, is smaller and lighter, can be used in direct sunlight, never needs charging and is dead simple to use, as well. Clearly, the Paper Clip is the winner.

Yup. I wonder why those blind Apple fanboys don’t see that? It’s obvious. The Paper Clip will be the clear victor in the long run. You’ll see. The iPad doesn’t stand a chance…

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