What the hell was that?

Caesar’s Palace Presents: Pentatonix at Caesar’s Palace. Ugh.


Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: Five people wake up in a hotel room with no idea what happened last night. Apparently, it’s the perfect Christmas plot for the Pentatonix  Christmas special, Pentatonix: A Not So Silent Night.

Welcome to Caesars Palace! Pentatonix is more than happy to have their rooms comped to allow them to shoot a Christmas special. The only problem is: It’s not looking a lot like Christmas. I haven’t cringed this much since Kiss made a movie at Magic Mountain. Of course, the members of Pentatonix are young, I’m sure they’ve never heard of “Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park”, but it should be required viewing for all young musicians, so they don’t make overt ad placement deals disguised as Christmas Specials.

Good god, they don’t even sing. The lips are syncing, and nobody’s home. They could have simply played their videos of the new album from YouTube – They could have had a Christmas-themed listening party, and told us all about the creation of the songs, and it would have been ten-times more entertaining. But, hey, now I know there’s zip lines, a midnight buffet and a Ferris wheel on the Caesars property.

Then there’s Poor Kirstie – trying to do musical numbers with a broken ankle. All I could do was watch her desperately balancing on one leg, holding her cast off the floor, and trying not to look like she was in pain. I could hear a 1930’s producer just off camera screaming, “keep the leg up, doll-face, I don’t care how much it hurts. Smile, dammit, smile!”

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She wasn’t the only one in pain. It started right at the beginning, with Scott walking out in a gladiator costume. These kids are no-longer kids, you know what I mean? They were contestants on The Voice seven years ago (crap, now I’m even older), and Scott walking out in a gladiator costume, in a hotel, in Vegas, with a Hangover-style story-line, does not resonate on the youthful cute meter – it’s downright Zach Galifianakis-like, and begs an entire raft of innuendo and racy jokes.

Same problem with joining the cast of Absinthe. Here’s a burlesque show – but, since it’s it’s a Caesars thing – we’ll wedge it into a Christmas number with the plucky kids. Sure, the song from A Nightmare Before Christmas should work. Wait, it doesn’t?

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“I don’t care”, screams the 1930’s producer, “The audience will never notice – just keep smiling. Smile, dammit! We’ll keep it clean for the kiddies. Hey, Doll-face – stop looking like you have a broken ankle. Someone mention the midnight buffet again. I’m hungry – Cut! Call it – that’s lunch.”

I love Pentatonix – Amazing performers at the top of their craft. They’ve single-handedly brought a cappella to the mainstream, by working their butts off and mastering social media. Amazing.

But what happened in Vegas, should have stayed in Vegas.

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