Go ahead and scoff, but YOU don’t have one…

If SyFy can create terrible disaster films with sharks – I can create terrible Christmas albums with rap-tunes. Right?

My wife never knows what I’m going to do at any given minute of the day. Ever. I’m a very creative person with Attention Deficit Disorder. She is probably happy that I don’t have ADHD, because I would have recorded this while running around the house and hopping on one foot.

I do silly things. Last year, I decided that I should record a Christmas album. You know, like everyone at Christmas, I enjoy sitting by the fire, drinking egg nog and writing comedy sketches. And then there’s the singing. The very bad, off-key singing… My Wife has the patience of a saint, and puts on a good game-face whenever another wacky idea pops into my head.

Check out the files below and welcome to my Wife’s world – be thankful that you only have to put up with this for about fifteen or so minutes. Of course, you can always turn it off if it’s grating on your nerves.

I’ll bet my Wife thinks you’re pretty lucky. In fact, I’m sure of it.

 01 – Law & Santa – The cast of Law & Order meet Santa – and there is no miracle on 34th Street.


02 – Retail – I forced my wife via gunpoint to record this with me.


03 – Santa Stole My Stuff – Don’t ask me, it just popped into my head, OK? This is the ‘nice’ version. If you look around, you can find a ‘naughty’ version, as well.


04 – Snow – Pathos and Christmas go hand-in-hand. That’s why those sad, poorly-acted Christmas TV movies are so popular.

Here is the Spotify player, if you have a Spotify account:

If you wish to support my lame rear-end, and possibly be subjected to more of this triviality, please purchase an actual digital copy of this pile of recordings yourself via your favorite digital audio retailer:

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