Looking back on my life – which is a weird thing to say, but now that I’m fifty I can actually look back at my life – there were many missed opportunities. Many crossed wires. Many people that I had hurt. Some people that I’ve lost contact with. Some relationships that I had utterly wrecked, and some that simply slipped away.

There are a couple of recent milestones that have made me realize I’m not twenty any more: Daniel Craig is the first James Bond that is younger than me. I sat in a darkened theater to watch The Force Awakens, and remembered my I experience seeing the original Star Wars in the theater in 1977. AARP actually sent me a welcome kit.

I’m not twenty any more.

The mirror is the worst: Who is that guy staring back at me? I don’t really FEEL any different, except for the obvious creaking in my joints when I first get out of bed, but, hey, when did I EVER pop out of bed hopping and skipping? I can rationalize that one.

But I can’t hide the wrinkles. You know the saying, “I know it like the back of my hand”? Well, let me tell you something, the back of my hand has become VERY foreign to me. That’s my DAD’S hand, not mine. And the skin on my neck is starting to get a little looser, you know, like when those REALLY old people get that turkey-neck thing?

Dear God, I might get that turkey-neck thing. That’s gonna be SO much worse than my first pimple…

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